


How can I live without the Sun?

by NtheDemon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Breaking Up & Making Up, Caring Mark, Crying Youngjae, Established Markson, Established Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, JB blames himself, M/M, Making Up, Pissed Off Jackson, Protective Markson, Realization, Some Cursing, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9560600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NtheDemon/pseuds/NtheDemon
Summary: Jaebum and Youngjae had been together at the beginning of their senior year of high school and now they were starting college. JB was sure he loved Youngjae but he couldn't let go of the fact that he couldn't see himself with a guy for the rest of his life. He was more than sure that he would be with a woman and that thought wouldn't stop plaguing him, instead of talking to Youngjae about it... he breaks up with him....The fight was terrible, awful, the things he said to his angel made him feel sick but that didn't stop him. After Youngjae broke down crying loud enough that Mark and Jackson came in to see what the issue was, JB said a rather ugly remark to his now ex.. ugly enough that Jackson punched him right in the jaw and threw him out of his dorm. What was he thinking? But this was better.. JB could live his life now... but what was life without Youngjae in it?Could he man up and finally face the true feelings for Youngjae? Could he finally realize that his life wasn't worth living without his sunshine in it? And would Youngjae take him back or will he be in the dark for the rest of his life?





	

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning is gonna hurt guys... but brace yourselves... it will all be okay

Jaebum Im thought he was happy, he had just started college and had a very loyal loving boyfriend. Youngjae and he started dating when they both were seniors in high school, and he was happy... or so he thought. The thoughts of him being with a woman, marrying a woman, having a family and he couldn't do that if he were still with Youngjae followed him when he was with him. But he couldn't hurt his sunshine, he had promised that he would love him and care for him no matter what, but with the thoughts that he deserved to be with someone that could give him a traditional family kept plaguing him. JB couldn't stay true to Youngjae knowing that he was wanting to be with a woman, but how was he going to tell his boyfriend... how was he going to break up with him.

After walking his boyfriend back to his dorm after a class they shared, JB had decided to talk to him about his feelings, but of course he couldn't get his words together properly and a big fight happened. "What do you mean you want to break up? We have been together for a year Jaebum.. can't we work this out?" Youngjae pleaded with him, and JB would be lying if he said his heart didn't break at the sad tone he used, but he wasn't happy so he needed to break this off and hopefully the other would find someone to make him happy. "I can't Jae, I am sorry but I can't.." Tears fell down the other's cheeks and he began to sob, JB had to fight everything inside of him from going to hold him. Before anything else could be said, the door swung open to show Youngjae's room mate Jackson Wang and his boyfriend Mark Tuan. JB needed to end this quickly before they could get involved, he watched Mark go over to Youngjae and wrap him in his arms as he sobbed, if he knew after what he was about to say would not only break his own heart but Youngjae's also.. he may have not said it. "Look man, I thought you were what I wanted but seriously I am not a fag like you. I want a woman."

The entire room froze, Youngjae trembled in Mark's arms, but before JB could try to take it back and try to make things better Jackson swung and punched him right in the jaw. "Get your ass out of this room now before I decide to hit you again." Jackson, who never said anything really hateful, hissed at him before he shoved JB out of his door and slamming the door. JB thought it would be better this way, that he could be happy, but once he stepped away all he could hear was Youngjae's wails of despair. Tears flew to his own eyes but he had to walk away because he wanted to be with a woman, he wanted a wife and a family. But what he wasn't willing to admit to even himself was his heart stopped beating the moment he let Youngjae go... that would be something he would be living with for the next six months, try to live half alive because he let his soulmate go.

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_Six Months Later_

JB wasn't doing well, he studied and went back to his dorm, he had no friends and as for dating... he went on one blind date thanks to a classmate but all he could think of was Youngjae. After their breakup, Youngjae transferred out of the music class he shared with JB and even if they were in the same room, he kept his eyes down and walked quickly away from JB. It had been six months since JB broke Youngjae's heart and his own, and from what he could tell.. neither were doing well. Knowing that he barely slept, all he could see was Youngjae's face heartbroken when he ended things, all he could hear with his cries. His love barely looked like he was hanging on himself, he was thinner which meant he hadn't been eating and if the dark circles under his eyes told JB anything meant he wasn't sleeping either. Sitting in the library attempting to focus on his essay, JB felt his breath catch seeing Youngjae walk in, even though both were going through hell... he was still breathtaking. What had he been thinking, Youngjae was his other half, and there was no denying it anymore.

When the younger singer looked up, probably feeling eyes on him, his brown eyes that always held warmth and love looked at JB but there was nothing but sadness and pain in them which made tears well up in the elder's eyes. Youngjae just turned quickly away and ran out of the library, almost knocking a stand over, and all JB could do was whimper and watch him leave. "Figure out you fucked up yet?" Came a low voice to his left, and he slowly looked over seeing Mark and Jackson standing over him. He let out a soft sigh before nodding his head at the words, Mark was completely right, he fucked up terribly. The couple seemed to take pity on him, Mark sat at his side and Jackson sat across from him. "Clearly both of you can't function without the other, and I am sure you are sleeping about as much as he is... even though you deserve a couple more sleepless nights." Jackson snipped out, but his features softened when Mark clicked his tongue at him and tapped his hand. JB tried not to let his heart squeeze painfully at the display, all he wanted to do was go to his sunshine and make him smile again.

"So have you had your gay freak out? We have all been there... though I know mine didn't involve me speaking horribly to the one that I love." Mark, the eldest of all of them, used a tone like he was chastising a child, but JB knew that he deserved it. What he said to Youngjae haunted him, and he knew that he would have to build the trust back but he needed his other half back at his side. "Yes hyung.. I thought.. it doesn't matter what I thought.. I just know I need him back in my life. And I know I will have to earn his trust back but I will do whatever I have to. He is my soulmate and we need each other... I love him..." He said in a soft voice knowing he had to own up to his fuck ups but he would, he would capture the moon just to bring it to his sunshine. "Good because he loves you too, cries for you at night, so you need to fix this and you need to do it soon. He has a big exam coming, singing in front of the entire music department.. and he picked your song." Jackson told his elder, but he never let go of Mark's hand, they both cared about Youngjae and JB so they wanted everything to be okay. "He picked...." JB cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes from the tears that were trying to fall. "I will fix this, I have to.. thanks guys." He gave them a small bow before he gathered his items and running out of the library to get a plan together.

It was the following day, JB had spent all night trying to figure out what to do and say to his ex, and he knew that Youngjae wouldn't willing meet with him after everything so he asked Mark and Jackson to help him. The couple merely agreed so they could have their friends happy once more, so Mark asked Youngjae to meet with him in the practice hall to help with his dancing. Jackson had said he would help but he had another project to work on, when in reality, he was with JB trying to get him to calm down enough to  actually talk to Youngjae. "Dude he is coming, since your dumb ass broke up with him, he has been leaning on Mark and I more and he wouldn't disappoint Mark so you better get your words right." JB nodded and bit his bottom lip, he deserved the treatment he was getting from Jackson, he should have never done what he had. Hearing soft talking outside the door, his back straightened and he let out a shaky breath to try and control his nerves. When Mark entered first, he held the door open for Youngjae who walked in, but the moment he spotted JB his entire body froze and he tried to run away but Mark grabbed his hand stopping him. "Look, I am sorry we tricked you, but both of you need to talk. As you can clearly see both of you haven't done well without the other, so please Jae.. listen to JB. I know after everything it is a lot to ask but I know you still love him so... please..." Mark all but pleaded with the youngest in the room, Youngjae fought tears before nodding his head once and turned towards JB. "What?" That one simple word, in the complete pained tone that his soulmate used knocked him right to his knees.

"Jesus Jae.. I thought I was hurting.. but God.." JB almost sobbed out, he had always been able to feel Youngjae's own pain, and what he felt made him want to cower but he had to try and get through to Youngjae for both their sakes. "I am so sorry Jae, and I know that my words won't help the pain you are feeling, I know that they are just words but I need you to know how much I fucked up. I don't know what I was thinking, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, you make me want to be a better man and I let you go. I know you won't forgive me right away and I don't deserve quick forgiveness but I am just asking for a chance to prove how much I love you.. please Youngjae tell me that there is even a small glimmer of a chance that you still love me... please..." JB had never pleaded for anything in his life, he was to proud for that, but he never almost lost his other half before. Before he could figure out what was happening, Youngjae took a few steps to him and fell to his knees in front of him. "You hurt me Jaebum.. more than anyone in my entire life has... I shouldn't want to even talk to you but since you left all I can do is miss you." JB's eyes locked with the sad pair of the other's but he saw hope there so he knew he was still in the other's heart. "I promise you Youngjae, if it takes my entire life, I will prove that you are it for me. I love you Youngjae Choi, and I will work hard to get your trust back." His sunshine nodded his head and before he could stop himself, his hand reached out and caressed the other's perfect jawline, trying not to sob out when the younger nuzzled into the motion. "It will take hard work Jaebum Im, but I know you can do it. I love you and I know we are supposed to be together but I..." JB shook his head, "No I get it, and I will prove that I can be the man you fell in love with." Youngjae gave him a gentle smile before nodding his head once more, both leaning in and Youngjae was the first to kiss him gently, JB didn't pressure the kiss into anything deeper. He had to earn Youngjae's love and trust once more...

But he knew deep within his very soul that he and Youngjae were meant to walk this Earth together, so if it would take his entire life.. He would earn Youngjae's love back and never ever make him cry.


End file.
